The Shadow: Awakening the Unknown with Tarot
Oof its almost Winter Solstice.
For me, this is a time of darkest shadow and brightest light. It makes me hold in one hand the spooky, blue-black Christmas Carols like O Little Town of Bethlehem, while simultaneously clinging to the sparkly pop moments of Mariah Carey's All I Want For Christmas Is You. There's a reason we decorate a tree with light during this time: the holidays can be dark and challenging.
A shadow is inevitable. Just by existing in the sunlight, an object must have some part hidden. A good way to think about your personal Shadow is simply the unexpressed, the under-valued, or the inaccessible/hidden parts of ourselves. We may have a harder time accessing these because of past personal traumas, or it may be cultural or generational attachments that keep certain parts of the self at bay. Usually our Shadows serve our perception of safety. It's important to remember they exist for a reason.
Enter Tarot as a Shadow-piercing flashlight aimed at the unknown. Just by being a microcosm of the human experience, the “randomness” of Tarot will at some point show us a card that freaks us out or illuminates an area of our life we hadn't thought of before.
When I first began reading Tarot back in 2020, I became enamored with The Empress. I remember thinking, "You mean there's a whole Major Arcana entity based on pleasure, abundance, play, nature and giving gifts to myself??" It was such a cool thought, and one that awoke a part of my Shadow: giving pleasure & peace to myself.
Trust me, I had The Emperor energy down: to-do lists, structure, goal-setting, productivity, armor underneath, and other more common tropes about leadership. What I needed was to learn from the spirits held in The Emperor's shadow: whisperings of The Empress.
Lately I've experienced shifting tectonic plates of old emotions. I'm still in a place of grief and after-care from a past relationship, and have been slowly doing work around the tenderest parts of my abandoned inner little boy. Sometimes this work looks like a therapy session. Sometimes it's a jog-walk in the canyon or a cry sesh with a friend. Other times its screaming into a pillow so loud I know my neighbors can still hear me.
For me, this is how Shadow work is best done: with the speed of The Hermit and the blessing of The High Priestess. We're shining a light on the unknown, maybe only a pin-prick at first, learning that The Moon may illuminate our Shadow more safely than The Sun.
I wonder this week what secrets are held in your Shadow? What may be left unexpressed in your life and why? In Tarot, what are the suit cards that upset or confound you? Maybe you're elated to get a Six of Cups but super-pissed to get a Five of Pentacles. Why is this? What might this say about your current values and upbringing?
I'm super grateful to you, dear reader, for spending time with my second Tarot Reflection (these will *definitely* not be weekly, lol...I'll shoot for twice a month!) Thank you for spending your time, and I'm looking forward to growing in light (& darkness) right alongside you.
Yours in The Sun & The Moon,
Fox
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RITUAL
Light a single candle in a dark room before sunrise. Sit comfortably and notice what feelings come up. Greet them with curiosity. What is still present from your dreams? Who are you right now in this in-between-ness? As the sun starts to rise and your morning routines become more pressing, ask yourself: what parts of me am I leaving behind in the shadows?
VISUALIZATION
A full and happy monstera reaches towards a sunlit window. Underneath the giant green leaves, there are a few yellow ones that don't quite get enough sun. Suddenly, a thoughtful lover comes in the room and turns the plant around for the day, hoping tomorrow the leaves will grow a little bit greener.
SONG
Darker Than This
Emile Mosseri